I Really Don't Like You. Want To Go Have Coffee?

“I don’t like that man. I must get to know him better.” -Abraham Lincoln 

I have been struggling with feelings that come up around someone who I am not around very often, but who the sight of or mention of makes my body tense up, face flush, and my ego mind start thinking negative things.

I have never had a real conversation with this person. Ever. I have let their reputation precede them, to the full extent. This reputation makes me feel on guard, defensive, and completely insecure.

You know, typical petty high-school girl “She’s ugly but I’m probably just saying that because I’m afraid she’s secretly better than me somehow, but you agree with me that she’s ugly, right?” kind of reaction that has no basis.

But the truth is, these kinds of thoughts run through girls (and guys) minds all the time and it all boils down to one limiting belief: that we are not good enough.

That somehow, what someone else “has”, whether it’s looks, money, or personality, will end up beating us out in the long run. This is also a very typical response if you’ve been cheated on or “replaced” by a very close friend, even if it was years ago.

It is time to release this belief. It is time to get to know the people we don’t like, so that we can understand what makes them exactly who they are. We don’t ever have to agree with them, but to make it in this world, we have to find a way to love them anyway.

Because you know what? That girl doesn’t feel my anger when I see her, and she probably doesn’t even know how bad I think it is. The only person affected by my internal anger and jealousy is me.

You are exactly enough. You are beautiful. You are loved. When you connect to the universe through meditation, or a hug from your best friend, you can feel these things. Don’t let someone’s reputation or negativity shadow that. React to them from a place of love, and you just might help them feel good enough too. I’ll be right there with you.

Do you struggle with jealousy or insecurity? What do you do to feel better? I’d love to hear from you!