Women have this innate gift of knowing exactly what other people need.
We see someone suffering and we want to help them. We give our friends, family, and partners everything we can to make them feel happy because that in turn makes us feel good.
Having the ability to be so selfless is a gift.
But how many women do you know, maybe including yourself, who have lost themselves in the process, feeling like there is no one to care for them?
I have experienced this many times and am learning that if I forget to focus on my relationship with myself for too long, the imbalance comes out kicking and screaming. Sometimes literally!
Our inner selves will call out for attention, and a lot of times this comes in the form of being “needy” with those around us. We feel unloved and unappreciated by our significant others, who most of the time can’t understand why we would ever feel that way.
We look for attention and love from other people and feel worthless when we can’t get it exactly the way we want.
I have learned, that what we are really crying out for, is love from ourselves.
We have become so consumed with making sure everyone around us is happy – our boss, our families, whoever- that the you inside is wondering why you’re forgetting about her.
Before you ignore yourself so long that you start a fight with someone else that sounds a little like “you NEVER do things for me like I do for you to show I care” here are a few things you can do right now:
1) Decide that nobody in this world is more important than you. This is not selfish. Your body is the only body you have while you are here. If you can’t find specific things to love about it right in this moment, just love it for carrying you through your life on this earth.
2) Figure out something you can do for yourself on three levels: monthly, weekly, and daily. Maybe it’s a monthly massage, a weekly manicure, and a daily journaling process. Or tea, or putting on lotion, or showering with a few candles. Whatever it is – the daily things are the MOST important for sustainability and often the most over looked.
3) Forgive yourself. This is crucial. Forgive yourself for nagging your boyfriend/husband/friend. Forgive yourself for skipping your daily self-love ritual, forgive yourself for really feeling your PMS today and eating all that chocolate. Forgive yourself and start tomorrow differently.
4) Find your tribe. Finding an amazing group of women to lean on when you’re not at your best is the most fun. Women who will value your honesty and listen to you without judgment. We are all here experiencing our lives in different ways, but fundamentally we are all the same. Some of the best tribe-members that I have I have yet to meet, but that doesn’t change how much they can support me.
When you are able to do these things and create a love affair with yourself, the world will feel that. When you are taken care of, only then can you truly care for other people in a way that will leave you both feeling satisfied.
If you’re interested in learning some more about self-love, check out my good friend Elise’s blog – The Inner Vibrance Project. She shares loads of self-love tips and tricks there!